Think !!!

Some may not agree with some of the following matrix.


OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

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SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

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LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

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PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

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DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

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HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Printing mistake in Question paper:...

“Prove that 2/10=0.2 “is wrongly printed as” 2/10=2”

Our rocking students answered as below,

2 = TWO,
10 = TEN
TWO / TEN = WO / EN
W = 23, O = 15 (As alphabetic order)
E=5, N=14 (As alphabetic order)

W+O= 23+15 = 38

E+N= 5+14 = 19

So, 38 / 19 = 2 hence proved!

कुणाच्या इतक्याही जवळ जावू नये..............

कुणाच्या इतक्याही जवळ जावू नये
कुणाच्या इतक्याही जवळ जावू नये
की आपल्याला त्याची सवय व्हावी
तडकलेच जर ह्र्दय कधी
जोडतांना असह्य यातना व्हावी

डायरीत कुणाचे नाव इतकेही येवू नये
की पानांना ते नाव जड व्हावे
एक दिवस अचानक त्या नावाचे
डायरीत येणे बंद व्हावे

स्वप्नात कुणाला असंही बघु नये
की आधाराला त्याचे हात असावे
तुटलेच जर स्वप्न अचानक
हातात आपल्या कहीच नसावे

कुणाला इतकाही वेळ देवू नये
की आपल्या क्षणाक्षणावर त्याचा अधिकार व्हावा
एक दिवस आरशासमोर आपणास
आपलाच चेहरा परका व्हावा

कुणाची इतकीही ओढ नसावी
की पदोपदी आपण त्याचीच वाट बघावी
त्याची वाट बघता बघता
आपलीच वाट दिशाहीन व्हावी

कुणाची इतकेही ऐकू नये
की कानात त्याच्याच शब्दांचा घुमजाव व्हावा
आपल्या ओठातूनही मग
त्याच्याच शब्दांचा उच्चार व्हावा

कुणाची अशीही सोबत असू नये
की प्रत्येक स्पंदनात ती जाणवावी
ती साथ गमवण्याच्या केवळ भीतीने
डोळ्यात खळकन अक्ष्रू जमावी

कुणाला इतकाही माझा म्हणू नये
की त्याचे ' मी पण ' आपण विसरुन जावे
त्या संभ्रमातून त्याने आपल्याला
ठेच देवून जागे करावे....

लोग रूठ जाते हैं मुझसे........

लोग रूठ जाते हैं मुझसे
और मुझे मानना नहीं आता,
मैं चाहता हूँ क्या
मुझे जाताना नहीं आता,
आंसुओं को पीना पुरानी आदत है
मुझे आंसू बहाना नहीं आता,
लोग कहते हैं मेरा दिल है पत्थर का
इसलिए इसको पिघलाना नहीं आता,
अब क्या कहूं मैं
क्या आता है, क्या नहीं आता,
बस मुझे मौसम की तरह
बदलना नहीं आता............

Top 10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations

1.) At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends.......
Stupid Question :- Hey, what are you doing here?

Answer :- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2.) In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question :- Sorry, did that hurt?

Answer :- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.

3.) At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question :- Why, why him, of all people.

Answer :- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4.) At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question :- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good??

Answer :- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

5.) At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years
Stupid Question :- Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big.

Answer :- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6.) When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask..
Stupid Question :- Is the guy you're marrying good?

Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7.) When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call.
Stupid Question :- Sorry. were you sleeping?

Answer :- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or
not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.

8.) When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair.
Stupid Question :- Hey have you had a haircut?

Answer :- No, its autumn and I'm shedding...

9.) At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth.
Stupid Question :- Tell me if it hurts?

Answer :- No it wont. It will just bleed.

10.) You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks...
Stupid Question :- Oh, so you smoke.

Answer :- Gosh, it's a miracle ...........it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!